I have written before about this guy at work that I sometimes fool around with. We don't have actual sex. I've also written about how I often have problems getting aroused by him. If I'm already buzzing because of something I've done with someone else earlier in the day, he will sometimes reap the benefits of that, but on the days he comes in and I haven't been aroused by someone else, it is damn near impossible for me to get horny from him and what he does. I had thought it was just a lack of compatibility. I wasn't really concerned about it simply because he is just someone I amuse myself with. It will never be a relationship. However, recently I discovered what the problem is. He does not kiss me. When I asked him about that, he said that he only kisses his girlfriend.
It sounds silly, but I had never realized how very important kissing is to the sex act. I guess because it's always been there before, I never realized how much it would be missed. This actually could have caused a serious issue with someone from my recent past. We had plans to head in a direction that would have included a behavior that would have made it impossible for me to ever kiss him again after it was done. That would have made it impossible for me to get aroused by him anymore. That would have been a really unpleasant surprise. Guess I dodged a bullet there.
So how about the rest of you? Do you find that being able to have that primal taste of your partner is fundamental to becoming aroused by them?
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