Understood

It feels so good to be understood. I have not been having the easiest of times lately and I vented to a friend earlier today about a couple issues and when he answered this evening it was so wonderful because he totally understood. Being understood by another human being is such a gift. It is like being wrapped in an intellectual hug. So often I feel alone and in understanding me, he gave me that moment when I felt less desolate.

Overdue Relief

I know. I know. I went silent again. The last ten days have really blown monkey chunks. It was a sprint to finish everything in time for the last day of the school year since I was so behind from My daughters extended illness and I was still sick on top of that. Then on the last day of the school year we got some tremendously bad news about next school year so I've been in a funk since then.

Finally yesterday My sex drive kicked back in. Which took some of the edge off My stress and that was really nice. Very overdue though. LOL

My fantasy was about that time when a sub really learns what submission means. To Me, that time is when I fuck him when he's not in the mood but I am. Have any of you experienced that?

The Chair

Tonight while I was at work there was this show called Jail on one of the televisions. It was on for quite a while and several times I saw the guards take unruly prisoners and put them in this thing they called a restraint chair. You have no idea how much I was creaming over this and thinking that I HAVE to get one of those chairs. I wonder if they will sell those to the general public. LOL

By the way, Happy International Fuck a Friend Day. I hope y'all had more fun than I did with that. :-)

Chastity Questions

I am having a problem with a sorta sub who is not showing the proper attention/focus toward Me. I've been looking for a way to teach him to behave in an appropriate way. I tried talking to him about it and expressing My displeasure and what I expected and even though he claimed to understand and said he would try, he is failing miserably. It's an ongoing issue and I'm really tired of it. So it's time for harsher lessons.

I have read about chastity, however, I've never used it as a training tool. So what I'm looking for is some real world opinions from those of you who have experience with chastity, both short and long term. Does it really focus the male toward the Domme in a more meaningful way? Would you recommend it for a male who has trouble properly prioritizing Me?

You can respond here or e-mail Me privately if you prefer. My e-mail address is on My blogger profile.

Beating Down Goddess

I know I know. I keep saying I'm going to blog here on a regular basis and then life gets in the way. LOL Specifically the end of this school year has been insane. My daughter was really sick for a couple weeks and that put huge amounts of pressure on everything since I am facing down a huge deadline and it is not Mine to meet. I mean, I have to get it met, but My Girls have to do that work for it. Oh well. Less than a week to go on that.

On Monday I was at a vanilla event and had to battle My Dominant side because the event was very disorganized (which is unusual for this organization) and I just wanted to take over. LOL Last night I let a little too much of Goddess out when this guy who is...well...I call him stalker because he knows where I live. Long story short, I mentioned an intersection that I lived near one time when we were talking and the next day he was over there trying to figure out where I live and since My Girls were out front, now he knows. So that was when it became a "stalker" situation. That day I had done something nice for him and apparently in his mind Me being nice is Me coming on to him because now he follows Me around like a little puppy dog.

So, he was at My work last night, again, and I was doing something that I didn't want to be doing. I was getting injured doing it and frankly it was hard because I'm small. He's very large so when he offered to do it for Me, I let him. I know I should not take advantage of his crush to use him to do stuff for Me, but oh well. I'm battling the Goddess mood right now and it slipped out.

Anyone have any ideas how I can beat down My Goddess mood? It is just not fitting into My world right now and it's causing problems.

More Confusion

Something very large changed in My life last weekend and I spent this week trying to make sense of it and get My bearings. Then tonight the guy that I sometimes mess around with came in. He was just in recently and tonight he came in out of the blue and weeks earlier than he normally would. He claimed he was "just checking on his machines," but he only opened two of them and peeked inside. It was obviously just an excuse. I doubt he made a special trip but probably he was in the area and decided to stop and see if he could get a piece from Me.

I had an unusually negative reaction to him touching Me. It was all I could do not to verbalize the feelings of...."ewwwww." I have no idea where that came from. Maybe I'm just too far into My kinky mood to respond positively to a vanilla sexual overture? I don't know.

Great. Something else I gotta figure out.

New Kinky Mood

Soooooooo...this has been an interesting day. I spent a good chunk of the afternoon having phone sex. I got two fabulous orgasms out of it. I'm thinking I should probably cum twice every day because just a few minutes ago I had My first good BP reading in more than a week. This morning's reading was still too high, but tonight's is nice and normal. Perhaps multiple orgasms is the key to My stress relief. LOL

This evening was filled with hotties at work. Damn I love the hot weather and we have a couple more days of heat lined up. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Finally, I'm off in a new perversion direction. Anyone up for some bestiality?