In Public???

Recently there was this day at work when there were three incredible looking women there (cuties as I call them) and they all had great breasts. When I got home I e-mailed Old Bear gushing about them. Okay I was gushing about their tits. I called it "booby day." LOL In response, Old Bear made me an honorary "dude." So now I am wondering...can I wear My strap-on out in public???

Also, as a side, but totally unrelated note, any of you subbies interested in a "Mommy" to discipline you? I'm thinking of branching out with another playmate.

Scissors Are My Favorite Thing

Y'all ever have a fantasy about a particular object that you can't get out of your head? For Me it's the long heavy scissors that sit in My kitchen drawer. I won't go into details as it's a private fantasy I have with one of My playmates, but they have been very distracting the last week or so. I admit that at times I have fed the fantasy by deliberately using them even when the smaller, lighter scissors would have done the job, but today I have not even opened that drawer and yet it's like they are calling to Me or something. My mind keeps wandering over there and picturing them sitting in the drawer and from there the mind wanders into more...interesting territory. >;-)

Valued

The most odd thing happened at work today. Let Me start by saying that I'm not the most appreciated person on the planet. LOL My daughter and My niece love Me, but they are too young to really appreciate what I do (and have done) for them and frankly, I never want them to know the full extent of it because I'm not interested in being a "martyr" parent like My own mother often was. They owe Me nothing for the choices I have made because they were My choices.

My job is basically thankless. The bosses don't give a shit because they know I could be replaced in a second in this economy. Yes, her life would become more difficult because I'm crazy organized and make sure everything runs like clockwork, but I'm not indispensable. The customers also could not give a crap less. Or at least the vast majority of them could not. Once again, this is all fine. I do what I do for the girls and for no other reason.

But today one of my customers came in whom I have not seen in a while. She's been going through some rough times and moved away from the local area recently. She came in today really just to use our wi-fi and say hi. We talked for a while, like we always had and that was about it. Or so I thought. But as she was getting ready to leave she came over and gave me a big hug and told me how glad she was that I was there and how she hopes I'm not planning to go anywhere soon.

Aside from My daughter and niece I don't really feel valued very often. Yeah, Old Bear tells Me on a regular basis how great I am and OB, you know I appreciate that more than I can possibly ever say. You always told Me I was good, strong, wonderful, etc., even when I was at My lowest last year. Even when I didn't believe it, you did. And that meant a lot. But on a normal day to day basis, I get worn down a lot. At work people stare through Me as if I'm not there or treat Me like am another piece of the furniture, at home My sister is an idiot who does ridiculously irresponsible things that I always have to fix, My friends almost all turned on Me when I decided to adopt My daughter and I just never bothered to rebuild a social base because when you've been betrayed like that it makes it hard to trust, and My relatives, hell, don't even get Me started on those pieces of crap. LOL So to have this woman do and say what she did was extraordinary. At least in My experience. It was weird. Nice, but weird.

Fill It Up

Wow am I ever distracted today. I had a conversation this morning with one of My playmates about butt plugs and since then everything I see that is remotely shaped as if I could shove it up a male ass, no matter how inappropriate the object it, has Me creaming. Penetrating "boipussy" is one of My very favorite sexual activities and so I have been unable to focus on anything else all afternoon. I'm thinking I'm going to be pretty out of it at work tonight. Hope it's not too busy. LOL

What your Hair is For

For some reason I have seen a lot of parents "discipline" their children lately by pulling the kid's hair. Frankly, I consider any use of pain/violence against a child to be barbaric and counterproductive. However, it did give Me some ideas for slaves. I've long been a fan of the old cliche of dragging them along by their ear and when I'm really enjoying sex (be it vanilla or being given oral) I do engage in hair pulling, but for some reason I just had not combined the two into pulling them around by the hair. I am going to have to give that a shot. I think it could be hot.

So tell Me subbies...ever had your Domme pull you around by your hair??

Every Friggin' Surface

First off all sorry for the delay in posting. It's been an insane week. There was stuff going on that made work extra busy and stuff going on that made home extra busy and even stuff going on that made time with one of My playmates extra busy and it all came down together this week. So for a while there I didn't know which way was up. LOL But things have returned to normal in all three areas now so I can start posting more regularly again.

Y'all ever get into moods where you are horny for one particular activity and every place you see becomes part of that fantasy?? Tonight I'm in the mood to fuck some subbie ass. Long, hard, over and over and over...well, you get the picture. So tonight at work it was as if every surface I saw had potential to be used as a platform to fuck a slave. Counters, walls, tables, sinks, car hoods, you name it, I knew a way to violate a male on it or against it. LOL Needless to say I creamed allllllllll night long. Thankfully it was not very busy so I could amuse Myself without being interrupted too often.

Honey, I Have a Headache. Let's Have Sex

Yesterday I had a monster headache for a large part of the morning. I get migraines occasionally but this was not one of those. It was just a bad headache that the painkillers were not working on. It did have Me wondering if My migraine trick would work with other headaches. When I am getting a migraine, if I catch it really early and have an orgasm, that will sometimes stop the migraine. I wonder if that will work with other types of headaches. Unfortunately, I was at work yesterday and I try not to masturbate at work so I could not conduct an experiment. I know the orgasm/migraine thing happens with other women because I've talked to them about it, but I don't recall anyone treating regular headaches that way.

When Hubby Meets Lover Part 2

Vic carries Me over to the chair near the window and sits down with Me in his lap.

"So this is your little sissy hubby, huh?" Vic asks laughingly

With a wicked grin I say, "Greet My lover Vic properly, cum bucket."

you bend over and kiss Vic's boots on the tip and then proceed to lick all around and clean them properly until they are shining, just like you have been trained to do whenever you are in the presence of a superior male.

While you've been cleaning Vic has been reacquainting himself with my body and has taken off my blouse and been teasing, pinching, sucking and adoring My nipples through My lacy push up bra.

"So you actually had sex with that little sissy?" He asks in a disbelieving way.

"Well, I guess it was technically sex but his cocklette is so tiny and he's such a pansy I barely knew anything was happening." We share a hearty laugh at My husband's expense. I do so love talking about him as if he's not even there.

Vic's big strong hand slides up under My skirt and begins to play with My cunt, "Oh babe, I love when you don't wear panties,"

"I know. Besides, I figure one panty wearer in this marriage is enough," we both look pointedly at My sissy-hubby's pink panties and burst out laughing but My laugh abruptly becomes a moan as Vic pushes two of his big fingers into Me. "Show Vic how you like to twirl in your panties, pansy." you get up and begin to twirl around like a stripper. "I know you wish your pole was here. You should seem him hump the stripper pole when he's dancing, Vic, it is beyond slutty."

Tiring of the dancing show, Vic turns Me so I am facing forward and nudges My legs apart. "Get over here pussyboi and watch Me play with your wife's cunt." He waits until My hubby kneels and leans in, close enough that he can smell the pussy juice that I know he is addicted to. Vic increases the pressure on My clit and pushes Me over the edge right in front of My pansy-ass wimp of a husband who could never give Me an orgasm that strong.

I get up off Vic's lap and slide off My skirt and Vic quickly removes all his clothes. "Get on the bed cumdump." Sissy-hubby lays flat on the bed and Vic straddles his face, slapping him with his cock several times. "Open wide pussiboi," Vic orders. When hubby's slutty mouth is open, Vic pushes both his balls into it. "Suck, cumbucket."

I come over to the side of the bed and Vic picks Me up so I can wrap My legs around his waist. Then there right above My husbands eyes, My tight dripping wet cunt gets impaled on Vic's huge thick cock and he proceeds to pound into Me as I order My husband to not shut his eyes. To witness every second of his cuckolding.

Kissing the Hand That Slaps you

Yesterday I watched a porn clip sent to Me by one of My playmates. It included face slapping. I've been having face slapping fantasies since then. Don't you just love that image...the naked slave kneeling before the clothed Goddess and being lectured for whatever he has failed at that day, Her hand coming up and striking him soundly across the face. The look of adoration on his face when he kisses Her hand and expresses his deep gratitude that She took the time and cared enough to correct him and touch him. Mmmmmmmm....yeah, I'm wet again. LOL

Sacred Waste Consumption

I have been thinking a lot lately about how I would want My slave to worship Me and one of the most attractive ways is through the consumption of My sacred waste. If the slave is worshiping Me as a Goddess, then anything that comes from My body is sacred. Therefore the "waste" products that My body generates should be just as worthy of worship as the rest of Me is. I've come up with 10 sacred waste products and sorted them into categories ranging from "easier" to "extreme." Any of you have experience or thoughts on these? Or, alternately, any of you know of anything I missed that I should add to My list?

EASIER
Spit
Nail clippings/filings
Plucked eyebrows
Tears (emotion or allergy induced)

MODERATE
Nose secretions
Earwax
Urine

EXTREME
Feces/Shit/Scat
Vomit
Menstrual Blood

When Hubby Meets Lover Part 1

I'm impatient for My lover to arrive. Yes, we've been meeting here at this hotel for months now, but this time is special. This time I've brought My husband along with Me. It's one thing for him to know he's being cuckolded, even to the point of licking My lover's cum out of Me after I arrive home from our meetings, but it's quite another when he is going to have to watch My lover fuck Me. Not to mention having to interact and serve Vic himself. It's a shame I "forgot" to tell him why we are here. We've gone to hotels before to meet men, but always they have been men who would fuck My husband. I do love to see the little slut get his asshole reamed by a real man, but this is the first time he will watch Me having sex with another man.


My hubby is not allowed to fuck Me himself anymore. Not that it makes much difference. He's so inadequate that he could never satisfy Me. He's timid when we are in bed and it's rather like making love to a mouse. Vic is nothing like that. He understands the value of being rough and knows how much I love when his big cock pounds into Me.

We sit and wait largely in silence. My hubby knows better than to question Me. I will tell him what's going on when I'm ready to. Or more accurately, he will find out what it going on when I start giving him orders. I'm wearing a tight black skirt and high black heels. My top clings in all the right places and shows am ample amount of cleavage, which I know Vic loves. My hubby is kneeling on the floor, almost naked. He's got little lacy pink panties on. He has to wear those all the time. We both love knowing that under his regular clothing is proof that he's nothing but a fluffy sissy.

His little pointless cock is locked to his balls. Long ago I had rings pierced into the head of his cock and the side of his balls and I padlock them together when I want him chastized. He has not cum in months although I do milk his prostate every couple of weeks.

My foot is bouncing up and down as My impatience builds. I notice his eyes following my foot, "Like what you see, cum dump?" I ask?

"Yyyyyessss...Goddess. Your feet are beautiful Goddess. All of you is beautiful Goddess."

Laughing I comment that he's well-trained and knows just what to say.

A knock at the door brings My laughter to an abrupt halt. "Finally!! Vic is here," I state with undisguised excitement. The color drains from My husbands face as he realizes what is about to happen, but I don't even notice. I've already rushed across the room to throw open the door. Vic pulls Me into his arms and kisses Me greedily telling Me it's been far too long since he's been able to touch Me.

To be continued...

A Teaser

Just by way of a teaser...I am working on a porn story to post here. It's going to have a cuckold theme. :-)

Tattoo

Many of you know that I've been through a journey to hell very recently and am working on recovering emotionally and physically. One of the things that I'm thinking of using symbolically is a tattoo which I will get when I feel that I am healed from what has happened. I saw some with Latin phrases written and I thought those were cool so I'm working on choosing a phrase. Old Bear and I have come up with some ideas between us and I thought I'd throw this out and see if anyone can think of any others. What I'm looking for is either one that encompasses my trip to the edge and return to life or something that discreetly references my Dominance. I don't want to have to "out" Myself to everyone who sees it so it has to be ambiguous. These are the phrases we have as possibilities so far, feel free to comment on any ideas you may have:

nulli secunda Second to none

tu ne cede malis sed contra audentior ito   Yield not to misfortunes, but advance all the more boldly against them

perfer et obdura; dolor hic tibi proderit olim   Be patient and tough; some day this pain will be useful to you.

dum vita est spes est  While there's life, there's hope

vestri animus postulo Mihi your soul needs Me

fortunatus es licitus succumbo the fortunate are allowed to surrender

non ducor duco -- I am not led; I lead

Looking For Slave

Finally I am getting better and can see the light at the end of the tunnel. For once, I'm sure that light is not a train. LOL So I've been working on ideas for the upcoming personal ads that I plan to put up to look for a slave. I plan to put them up on vanilla sites and kinky sites. Of course, it would be easier to find a compatible sub and take it from there, but unfortunately, most of the subs I have encountered are committed elsewhere, either with wife or girlfriend and I'm just a plaything to them. So I rather suspect that I'm going to be finding a male with submissive tendencies off a vanilla site (something like eharmony or match.com) and letting things grow more slowly out of that. At least those men are looking for actual relationships.


I have been working with a friend for a while now on how to word the ads and I've included some of his suggestions here. You guys know him...he writes here and on other blogs as "Old Bear." Basically, what I'm looking for is a submissive male (whether he knows he's subbie or not LOL) who will appreciate and value me and who makes me feel cherished by and important to him. Someone smart enough to recognize that I am the best thing that ever happened to him.

I also want someone who will be willing to be a parent to my daughter. She does not have a father and most of you should be aware of how important a father is to a daughter. I grew up without one myself, so I know firsthand how important it is. It's important to me that she be valued for herself. Many men would "tolerate" her in order to have me. Others would be willing to be her buddy. That's not enough for me. Or her. I spent my childhood being treated as a burden to the people who raised me. I would never put her in that position. And she does not need another friend. She has her own. She needs a dad. So I will be adding the following line to all my ads: "If things work out long term between us, you will be expected to be a father-figure to my child. If you are unwilling to do this, we are not compatible"

Anyway, those are my thoughts and after discussing them with Old Bear, these are the suggestions he came up with. I'm putting them here with his permission:

"Headstrong, opinionated woman, single with child, seeks man who will adore my beauty and respect my right to decide things in our relationship. Looks less important than a cooperative attitude towards me and a respectful attitude towards women.

This Lady seeks LTR with a man who will make my needs to be your main focus and priority. In return you get my affection and attention, and get to be with an exciting and intriguing woman.

Always a Strong Woman, mostly a Good Person, Often a Loving Lady, When you are lucky a cruel manipulative tormentress. Seeks a man who will return my attentions and efforts with his devotion, adoration, and pliability.

Your hunger to be and do for my benefit will consume you. Your life will glow with my pleasure as yours recedes in our relationship. I will use, adore, & enjoy your desperation."

I absolutely love that last one. :-)

Goddess H.

Trying Again

Okay, I'm going to try again to begin posting here regularly. Today I took a gigantic step toward normalizing My life again and I have many more steps lined up next week so I think I'm ready to start posting again. Clearly I was not ready last time I tried.

Anyway, yesterday we took My sister out to celebrate her birthday. My girls wore sundresses. In the rest of the country they would have been popsicles, but here they were quite comfy. Southern California has a lot of downsides, but the weather isn't one of them. So for those of you in less lovely parts of the country. Nah nah. LOL