Here We Go Again

It is hard to believe it has been over a year since I have posted anything on here. A few times I almost took it down but I noticed that I do occasionally still get visitors here, so I left it up. I will be trying to be active in the blogosphere again, though I have noticed that many people have stopped updating their blogs, so I'm not sure where I will be active, but I will look around. If any of you have any suggestions of kinky and/or femdom blogs that are still active, feel free to offer them either here as a comment or you can e-mail Me at the link over in My profile.

The biggest thing that has changed is that I now have a slave. My slave is someone that I used to refer to on here as a sorta sub and/or playmate. He has since been upgraded. As a result, I'm not looking for playmates anymore. My sexual needs are being met. Perhaps at some point in the future I will allow him the privilege of posting on here. We'll see if he is a good enough boi for that.

Other than that, I'm still the same sick, twisted and perverted Me that you all know and love. Let us proceed to feed our perverse desires together. 

Without A Net

I thought I'd do a brief update. First I would like to thank the people who have publicly and privately expressed concern for My well being. The fact that you care, however little, about what happens to a stranger is extraordinary. My life situation is such that I'm basically on a high wire without a net. My health was precarious at best and the choices I made were basically gambles that could quickly go bad with one minor mistake in timing or unforeseen event. My body is weakened to the point that each meal, or lack thereof, matters. A lot.

Sadly, this weekend was seriously boring. Basically all the time I was not working, I was sleeping. That is not like Me at all. However, last weekend was very horny. As you can imagine, My sex drive is off kilter and requires some extreme help. But last weekend I had a great fantasy about a friend's wife that gave Me a wonderful orgasm on Saturday morning while I was working and then when I got home from work I found this video that sent Me into the stratosphere. It was a Domme penetrating her sub's ass with what looked like a violet wand, but it was hook shaped. I came twice on Saturday and once on Sunday just from that video. I've got to get one of those hooks!!! I've never really been into electricity before so I'm not sure why the video appealed so much. However, the sounds that sub made...O. M. G. Just thinking of those sounds and his begging for it gets Me tingly. LOL

Unfortunately, I have had no privacy in the last 7 days that would allow Me to go view the video again so the sex drive has turned back off. Hopefully I will get some private time again soon. But I'm not holding My breath. Privacy is hard to come by in My world. LOL But I really really need the stress relief that sex brings.

Well, I guess that brings y'all up to speed.

Pride and Health

This weekend is the local gay pride parade and festival. I've wanted to go for quite a while now and for some time health issues kept Me from going and then the last couple of years time constraints made it impossible. This year it will be both time constraints and health issues that keep Me from attending. I have never actually been but I've seen the pics and from what I've seen there must be some presence of the leather community so I thought I might find some fun. Plus, of course, I love to see men fuck so finding a collection of gay men willing to fuck any sub I might bring home would be a huge plus too. Oh well. Ce la vie. Perhaps next year will find My health improved and My life situation different.

While we are on the health topic, I just want to warn y'all that I may not be posting here much. I've had a recurrence of a serious health issue that I have battled off and on for years and since fixing it is not an option in the foreseeable future, I just have to figure out a way to survive for now.

Sex Is Sanity

Tonight I discovered that someone I've known for a while as a nice guy is actually worthy of sainthood. At least in My eyes he is. He has done something that is just so far above and beyond what qualifies him as a "good" person. So anyway, he was telling Me about it and I could tell he was basically losing his mind. LOL Not in a psycho way, but just in a overwhelmed way. I know that feeling. So I was trying to help him out with as much advice as I could come up with and also just let him vent because I could tell he really needed to.

Unfortunately I could not offer My best advice. Sex is Sanity. He is just someone I know from work and not someone I tease or flirt with so I can't talk sex with him. I don't even know if he's gay or straight or seeing anyone or what. But I know from experience (and extrapolation) that sex is what can keep you sane when everything else is going crazy around you. It gives you a stress relieving "time-out" during the day with a quickie and at the end of a long day it can soothe you into a restful and rejuvenating sleep.

I Want a Slut

An interesting woman came into My work tonight. She had on a very very short skirt. It was so short that I frequently got to see the bottom edge of her ass. I saw enough of her ass to know she either had no panties or a g-string on. Anythign else would have been visible on what I saw. Now, I know I'm going to get in trouble with some of you for this, but the outfit alone made Me think she was a slut. I then recieved confirmation of that fact. She and the man she was with were alone on one side of the room in front of the back room where I have My own stuff. I came out of that room and surprised them. She was leaning over a table and he had his hand up underneath the back of her skirt. Now, all of us females have had our men grab our asses outside of our clothing and that is a totally different thing. Anybody who lets someone have their hand up in their sexual areas in public is a slut. 

I want one. I want a slut that I can touch anytime, anywhere, anyway that I want to. I want them to be such a slut for Me that he/she/it will melt when I touch him/her/it in an intimate way. Even in public.

Kissing or Tasting

I have written before about this guy at work that I sometimes fool around with. We don't have actual sex. I've also written about how I often have problems getting aroused by him. If I'm already buzzing because of something I've done with someone else earlier in the day, he will sometimes reap the benefits of that, but on the days he comes in and I haven't been aroused by someone else, it is damn near impossible for me to get horny from him and what he does. I had thought it was just a lack of compatibility. I wasn't really concerned about it simply because he is just someone I amuse myself with. It will never be a relationship. However, recently I discovered what the problem is. He does not kiss me. When I asked him about that, he said that he only kisses his girlfriend.

It sounds silly, but I had never realized how very important kissing is to the sex act. I guess because it's always been there before, I never realized how much it would be missed. This actually could have caused a serious issue with someone from my recent past. We had plans to head in a direction that would have included a behavior that would have made it impossible for me to ever kiss him again after it was done. That would have made it impossible for me to get aroused by him anymore. That would have been a really unpleasant surprise. Guess I dodged a bullet there.

So how about the rest of you? Do you find that being able to have that primal taste of your partner is fundamental to becoming aroused by them?

Understood

It feels so good to be understood. I have not been having the easiest of times lately and I vented to a friend earlier today about a couple issues and when he answered this evening it was so wonderful because he totally understood. Being understood by another human being is such a gift. It is like being wrapped in an intellectual hug. So often I feel alone and in understanding me, he gave me that moment when I felt less desolate.

Overdue Relief

I know. I know. I went silent again. The last ten days have really blown monkey chunks. It was a sprint to finish everything in time for the last day of the school year since I was so behind from My daughters extended illness and I was still sick on top of that. Then on the last day of the school year we got some tremendously bad news about next school year so I've been in a funk since then.

Finally yesterday My sex drive kicked back in. Which took some of the edge off My stress and that was really nice. Very overdue though. LOL

My fantasy was about that time when a sub really learns what submission means. To Me, that time is when I fuck him when he's not in the mood but I am. Have any of you experienced that?

The Chair

Tonight while I was at work there was this show called Jail on one of the televisions. It was on for quite a while and several times I saw the guards take unruly prisoners and put them in this thing they called a restraint chair. You have no idea how much I was creaming over this and thinking that I HAVE to get one of those chairs. I wonder if they will sell those to the general public. LOL

By the way, Happy International Fuck a Friend Day. I hope y'all had more fun than I did with that. :-)

Chastity Questions

I am having a problem with a sorta sub who is not showing the proper attention/focus toward Me. I've been looking for a way to teach him to behave in an appropriate way. I tried talking to him about it and expressing My displeasure and what I expected and even though he claimed to understand and said he would try, he is failing miserably. It's an ongoing issue and I'm really tired of it. So it's time for harsher lessons.

I have read about chastity, however, I've never used it as a training tool. So what I'm looking for is some real world opinions from those of you who have experience with chastity, both short and long term. Does it really focus the male toward the Domme in a more meaningful way? Would you recommend it for a male who has trouble properly prioritizing Me?

You can respond here or e-mail Me privately if you prefer. My e-mail address is on My blogger profile.

Beating Down Goddess

I know I know. I keep saying I'm going to blog here on a regular basis and then life gets in the way. LOL Specifically the end of this school year has been insane. My daughter was really sick for a couple weeks and that put huge amounts of pressure on everything since I am facing down a huge deadline and it is not Mine to meet. I mean, I have to get it met, but My Girls have to do that work for it. Oh well. Less than a week to go on that.

On Monday I was at a vanilla event and had to battle My Dominant side because the event was very disorganized (which is unusual for this organization) and I just wanted to take over. LOL Last night I let a little too much of Goddess out when this guy who is...well...I call him stalker because he knows where I live. Long story short, I mentioned an intersection that I lived near one time when we were talking and the next day he was over there trying to figure out where I live and since My Girls were out front, now he knows. So that was when it became a "stalker" situation. That day I had done something nice for him and apparently in his mind Me being nice is Me coming on to him because now he follows Me around like a little puppy dog.

So, he was at My work last night, again, and I was doing something that I didn't want to be doing. I was getting injured doing it and frankly it was hard because I'm small. He's very large so when he offered to do it for Me, I let him. I know I should not take advantage of his crush to use him to do stuff for Me, but oh well. I'm battling the Goddess mood right now and it slipped out.

Anyone have any ideas how I can beat down My Goddess mood? It is just not fitting into My world right now and it's causing problems.

More Confusion

Something very large changed in My life last weekend and I spent this week trying to make sense of it and get My bearings. Then tonight the guy that I sometimes mess around with came in. He was just in recently and tonight he came in out of the blue and weeks earlier than he normally would. He claimed he was "just checking on his machines," but he only opened two of them and peeked inside. It was obviously just an excuse. I doubt he made a special trip but probably he was in the area and decided to stop and see if he could get a piece from Me.

I had an unusually negative reaction to him touching Me. It was all I could do not to verbalize the feelings of...."ewwwww." I have no idea where that came from. Maybe I'm just too far into My kinky mood to respond positively to a vanilla sexual overture? I don't know.

Great. Something else I gotta figure out.

New Kinky Mood

Soooooooo...this has been an interesting day. I spent a good chunk of the afternoon having phone sex. I got two fabulous orgasms out of it. I'm thinking I should probably cum twice every day because just a few minutes ago I had My first good BP reading in more than a week. This morning's reading was still too high, but tonight's is nice and normal. Perhaps multiple orgasms is the key to My stress relief. LOL

This evening was filled with hotties at work. Damn I love the hot weather and we have a couple more days of heat lined up. Mmmmmmmmmm.

Finally, I'm off in a new perversion direction. Anyone up for some bestiality?

Snip Snip

As I said on Wednesday night in My comment to the last post, castration is now part of the extreme fantasy collection. That one just kind of came out of nowhere. Don't get Me wrong, I have had fantasies about it before. Sometimes extensive ones. It just hasn't been around recently. It doesn't go with Daddie or with Glorious Excrement (both of those are separate too by the way) and so to get all three to run in one continuous fantasy takes some mental gymnastics, let Me tell you. LOL

I have to say, I love My mind. No matter how bad My mood gets, My sex fantasies are always right there to bolster Me back up and keep Me moving. So if scissors is what it takes then I say, "SNIP SNIP."

Perversion as Therapy

I use My kinky sexuality as a form of therapy. I have a lot of stress/fear/frustration/pain/disappointment from several situations going on this week and coming up next week. You could say that I'm rather frazzled right now. LOL

So I have been attempting to jack up the intensity level of My sex play. Which means reaching for the hard-core extreme end of My sexual fantasies. It helps Me to function because it keep the negative emotions from paralyzing Me. Plus I have a health condition that stress exacerbates and it has been acting up big time these days. My active kinky fantasy life is one of the few things that actually works as stress relief for Me.

So do any of the rest of you use your perversions in this type of way?

Private Time

Due to some overnight guests, privacy, which is normally very hard for Me to come by anyway, was nonexistent at My home this weekend. When you are horny, that is a bitch. LOL I am craving porn. Fortunately, I am really good at seeing perversion in vanilla news stories and building fantasies off that. I have a pretty good sized collection of those type of articles and am always adding more, but sometimes I just need some honest to goodness porn. Unfortunately, I usually have little to no opportunity to partake of it.

There is good news though. Three days next week I will have some private time. I can't get hugely into anything then because I will have to be able to leave at a moments notice, but I will be able to have some fun. However, due to a trip and a class that are coinciding, I have a day in mid-May when the internet and I will have some extended quality alone time together. I am already counting the days until that one. LOL

If any of you have any good porn suggestions, e-mail them to Me. My public e-mail address is on My blogger profile.

Daddie Won

Yep I am back to normal. More or less. I even got the chance to masturbate to an intense Daddie/sissyboi fantasy before I left work tonight. Mmmmmmmmm I feel so much better. :-)

My Cunt Is Trying

My cunt is trying to get back to it's normal horny fun self. Tonight the guy I mess with occasionally came into My work and I don't always respond to him sexually, but I did tonight. That's how I know that My cunt really really wants to get back to normal. However, we could not do anything because of how it was at work so after he left we were flirting via text. Some men should just not be allowed to speak or, in this case, text. I know it's partly because he's young and partly because he is vanilla but sooner or later he always says something that turns Me off and he did tonight.

I really need to be horny right now. In the first place I had one of those awful people at work tonight who speak to Me in rude, insulting and condescending ways and so I have a monster headache. An orgasm would take that away. Also I have the residual emotional issues from My mother's birthday this week and what I really want is just a break from all the crap in My head. LOL

So...what shall I distract Myself with? Shall I go back to My most recent obsessions and be Daddie with My Fabulous Horse Cock? I could breed My little slut. Or be Goddess and nourish My slut with My Glorious Excrement? Or go off in a different direction entirely? Hmmmmm....

Silence

Hey guys, sorry for the silence. There are dates that are challenging for Me and one of them was this week. It would have been My late mother's birthday. I will return to My normal self soon.

Not That Kind of Daddie

I wasn't really planning to address this publicly, but I received yet another e-mail on it this morning so I decided I better clarify here. When I talk about Daddie and his Fabulous Horse Cock, I am not looking for a Daddie with a Fabulous Horse Cock. I am Daddie and it's My Fabulous Horse Cock. The sub is My eager desperate needy little cockwhore who only exists to be Daddie's slut.

Given the fact that I prefer males who are considerably older than Me, I have occasionally toyed with the idea of calling one of them "Daddy" and being Goddess to My "Daddy" but I have never pursued that enough to even try it out and that is not what I've been writing about here.
 
So please, those of you who misunderstood and think I'm looking for a Daddy with a Fabulous Horse Cock, stop propositioning Me. It's getting old. If the fact that I'm both female and Daddie taxes your brain too much, then just go find someone less complicated and follow their blog.